Get Up, Your Bus Is Here
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“Get Up, Your Bus Is Here” Living MY Life With Cerebral Palsy: Trials, Tribulations and Triumphs
BY Stephen Dantzig, Psy.D.
Part of the proceeds will go to local chapters of the United Cerebral Palsy Association. Read a description of the book below!
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Welcome to my life! You have found the “home page” for my autobiography. A brief introduction to the book is included followed by the full Preface. I would like to ask for your support in getting the word out. I invite you to become an affiliate partner in the sales from my website. Affiliates who “Get On The Bus” will earn a 30% commission on all sales that you generate for you or your favorite charity.
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“What an absolutely positive, upbeat and charming book. Stephen weaves together his stories of life with such honesty and humor. His ability to tell his adventures, first, as who he is as an individual, and secondly, talk about his “cp” as it was just a “born with trait,” like having blond or red hair … very refreshing….As a national organization, UCP has dedicated its self to providing, “’life without limits to people with disabilities.’ Reading Stephen’s reflections on his growing up-years, he and his family lived that concept long before UCPA coined those words…In adulthood Dr. Dantzig continues to see the world as a life without limits.”
–From the Foreword by Donna Fouts, Executive Director, United Cerebral Palsy Association of Hawaii
“One day I was walking to the bus and caught an icy patch and wound up face down in the snow. My mother stood true to Dr. Shelsky’s word and with tears in her eyes told me to “Get up. Your bus is here.” She would have obviously helped me if I was hurt, but the early message to me was also clear; I was going to learn to fend for myself…”
Dr. Stephen Dantzig’s tenth book is by far his most personal to date. “Get Up, Your Bus Is Here” Living MY Life With Cerebral Palsy: Trials, Tribulations and Triumphs chronicles his life growing up with Cerebral Palsy and details his successes as well as his struggles. He candidly talks about additional challenges brought on by Kienbock’s Disease and the two wrist fusion surgeries that followed. Battles with obsessive-compulsive tendencies are also brought to the forefront. Dantzig talks about his parents and their influence on his independence, modifications needed in his early days in elementary school and follows his educational career through earning his doctorate in psychology from Rutgers University. He details his development and life lessons learned as a school psychologist working with severely disabled children, professional photographer, and author. He talks about living with a ghost in New York, life in Los Angeles, and his big move to Hawaii. Dantzig relates his experiences on skis, the softball field, a surfboard, and under water with SCUBA gear. His stories are often poignant with subtle humor. His struggles are discussed in a matter-of-fact way that denounces self-pity while his triumphs are talked about with humility. Dantzig provides resources and references for anyone looking for more information on the many topics discussed. Part of the proceeds from this book will go to local United Cerebral Palsy Association chapters.
Preface
I realized that my life has, in many ways, been a series of common themes that repeat over time. There were many years where I worked to deny my disability. This was not always a bad thing, but I would be involved with Cerebral Palsy in many different ways in my personal and professional lives. I have come full circle in many ways; my early years were spent at a Board of Cooperative Educational Services school for Physically Disabled Children, and the United Cerebral Palsy (UCP) Clinic at St. Charles Hospital in Port Jefferson, New York; my “first” job was as a school psychologist in a similar school and I am now on the Board of Directors of United Cerebral Palsy Hawai’i. United Cerebral Palsy is truly a magnificent organization that provides needed services to millions of children and adults. Part of the proceeds from every book sold will be donated to local UCP organizations. Mahalo for your support!
This book consists of three parts and my introduction. The introduction will give you a detailed description of Cerebral Palsy: what it is, how it works, what happens to the muscles as someone with Cerebral Palsy tries to move, as well as other situations like seizures and mental retardation that are often associated. Part One is my life; the good, the bad, the beautiful and the ugly. Chapter One details the memories and stories that make up my early years as a preschooler falling on my face with braces and crutches in the snow while waiting for my hourlong ride to school to early pre-Individuals with Disabilities Education Act modifications made in my elementary school. You’ll read about my transition to my local school and my first brush with negativity. In stark contrast you’ll see how my elementary school gym teacher helped lay the foundation for what became a life filled with sports and athletic endeavors. I was in elementary school when I started my life long love affair with photography. Photography is a major theme that will be visited and described throughout my life. You’ll read about how I cheated death–twice–before I reached middle school. My middle school years were marked by some battles in school and an extremely unorthodox decision that my parents made to investigate acupuncture to help with my spasticity. You’ll read about the scares–and successes of that first and other trips that took us from New York to Washington DC. I couldn’t ride a regular two-wheeled bicycle so my parents got me a large three-wheeler. You’ll read about my many escapades on that and similar trikes beginning in middle school and continuing to this day. My first experience on skis was also in junior high school.
There are many stories about my life as a high school student with a physical disability in Chapter Two including how I managed to earn nine Varsity athletics “letters.” You’ll see where my true love for photographic lighting began and travel with me around Deer Park and New York City on photography assignments for my high school variety shows. My journey continues as I was accepted into Rutgers College as an undergraduate. My tricycle made the trip across the river to New Jersey and became a common element up and down College Avenue. You’ll read about my adventures in the Rutgers party scene, including a memorable trip to the resort town of Lake George, New York where my friends and I would “break dance!” More importantly, you’ll learn about one professor who had one of the most profound impacts on my photography career. My career in psychology was in its infancy in college and you’ll see where it began. Rutgers was also the place where I experienced my first real broken heart and you’ll read about how I almost burnt down my apartment trying to impress her!
Chapter Three takes a detailed look at Graduate School at Rutgers and some of the fun times that continued during those years. You’ll also read about something that I have kept extremely private up until now: I battle with a degree of Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder that varies from time to time. You’ll read about how this almost derailed my psychology career and probably cost me a dear friendship. Those were dark days indeed. I fought–and fight–through those nutty ideas and went on to work in a school that would lay the foundation for my life’s work in psychology as well as teach me some amazing life lessons; I worked with children and young adults with the most severe disabilities that you can possibly imagine. You’ll also meet the woman who was responsible for opening up my sexuality and teaching me the beauty of physical intimacy. These years solidified my devotion to photography and you will see how I juggled my day job, evening and weekend job with THE mentor to whom I owe my photography career, and trips to New Jersey to complete my doctoral degree requirements from one of the most prestigious graduate programs in the country. I met and became friends with some famous photographers who also served as mentors for my budding photo career. You’ll meet one of those and see how an off-hand comment can make a huge impact on someone’s life. I joined a gym and started my own softball team in those days and found a roommate to share a great apartment by the water on Long Island. Little did we know that we would be sharing our apartment with a ghost!
The winters in New York were taking a toll on me. I had had my fill of skiing, so three months of snow held little appeal to me. I had spent five summers visiting friends in Los Angeles and decided it was time to move. Chapter Four takes a look at my life on the “West Coast” as a visitor and then describes my “welcome” as a resident. The 1994 Northridge Earthquake hit about two weeks after I moved to LA! My work with severely disabled children continued in Los Angeles. I began a short-lived side career as a consultant and trainer that culminated in my first book. One crucial four-day photography workshop turned my photography around, but my photography career took a very unexpected twist as a result of a chance meeting at a trade show. I was still photographing beautiful women–and you’ll read about one shoot with a Playboy Playmate–but suddenly I was writing articles for major photography magazines and websites. Life was not always rosy in LA though. You’ll read about how my days as a gym rat essentially came to an end because of something called Kienbock’s Disease and the two wrist fusion surgeries that followed.
I made a fateful “one-time” only visit to Hawai’i after my wrist finally “healed.” Chapter Five tells about how that one trip was nowhere near enough. I talk about falling in love with Hawai’i, her history, slack key guitar music, and my seven other trips to the Islands before making Honolulu my home. First, however, comes my very personal stories of November 11, 2001 and how a young girl who with severe cognitive deficits continued to change my understanding of mental retardation. My plan was to be in Hawai’i as a photographer and a consultant, but it was not always “paradise” as you will read. I came very close to falling on my face financially before making the very difficult decision to return to school psychology, this time for the State of Hawai’i. One of my contacts with the DOE lead to another very unexpected development in my psychology career: I became an Adjunct Professor of Psychology–for two universities in Honolulu. Photography continued of course and my writing career morphed again and I share how I started producing photography books, ebooks and contributing to another major website. The absolute culmination of my photography career to date was the establishment of the Hawai’i School of Photography. You’ll read about how that came to pass as well as my experiences surfing and SCUBA diving. I grew up as a New York sports fan. The Giants and the Mets are still my teams, but I discovered another team in Hawaii that has captured my heart, and in some ways, my camera. You’ll read about how I became a season ticket holder for the Rainbow Wahine Volleyball team and photographed players on and off the court–including one wonderful lady who went on to become Miss Hawai’i 2009. You’ll also read about another former player who became a model for my school even after seeing me in public wearing a duck hat! Chapter Five ends with a tribute to my late father and best friend. Part One ends with Chapter Six, the Epilogue. Here I try to sum up the lessons learned over my fifty years (so far!) on this Earth.
One thing that comes through when I look back over my life is the idea that I am an educator; all of the roads and paths that I have meandered through all lead to some sort of academia. Part Two of this book is, therefore, somewhat fittingly more academic in nature. Appendix A is a brief rundown of tips on how to approach someone with a physical or even obvious cognitive disability. I’ve noted that most of my psychology career has been spent working with children and young adults with severe disabilities. Part of my job has been to assess the cognitive skills of these students. Appendix B shares my viewpoints on how to do this accurately while not allowing the youngsters’ physical limitations to interfere. I share some profound thoughts on Mental Retardation throughout this book and Appendix C details how I assess and understand the different challenges presented by individuals with differing degrees of cognitive disabilities.
Finally, Part Three is a list of resources to gain more information about the many topics that I discuss in the book.
Stephen Dantzig, Psy. D.
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